Escobar Lucius Pain
Though mostly known for fathering Citizen Pain, and raising him to be the perfect saltmaster he is today. Escobar Lucius Pain has contributed to the Jackie Chan community in numerous ways, not the least of which was getting 1985 cancelled. Early life Born in 1921 to the rough streets of Upper West Hampton, New Hampshire, Escobar Lucius Pain never had it easy. For example, he only had 3 different nannies taking care of him, unlike that Seagal kid. It was rough on those streets, regularly his butler fighting for his lunch money. Escobar lived a lonely life, never finding love until one day he met Julia Styles (not the actrees), with whom he felt he had found true love. The two had sex exactly once, and from that union, Citizen Pain was birthed. However, Escobar did not realize that Julia Styles was only doing it on a bet, and therefore she didn't love him at all. Though she did go through with the pregnancy, once that baby was born, she made like an expensive Volkswagen and Audied. Word. Fists of Fire Though he had several maids to raise young Citizen, Escobar spent his time depressed over the loss of Julia, and one day in 1983, while seeking to through some money at his problems, he bought an arcade machine, picking Jackie Chan's Fists of Fire because, in his own words, "Fire is pretty rad, y'all." He soon became enamored with the game, spending all his time playing it alone, because he had no friends. Rumor has it that, due to his father playing the thing all the time, Citizen Pain's first words were "Fucking Thorsten". 1985 See 1985 in Jackie Chan Post 1985 Life After the Jackie Chan: Steaks of Fire barbecue, the FoF community fell into a deep depression over having been unable to play Escobar using their full abilities due to their strong moral codes. For the next 2 years, none of the major players showed up to tournaments, resulting in Escobar winning many tournaments due to a lack of true competition. During this time Escobar, being the only person to show up to HIGH ATTENDANCE: MILLION FIGHTER DUEL 87', also became the first Jackie Chan player to win a tournament by default. During this time Escobar became so cocky that he made a public announcement, "Your shit is so weak I could train a kid to beat you assholes." So began the training of young Citizen Pain. Not much is known of the training of the young Citizen, but rumors have circulated of a brutal regimen of caning, mandatory stick practice, and years of a diet consisting largely of dried insects and cat urine. Good times. Death With his son trained, and with assurances from all of the boy's admission into SUPERCOP '06, Escobar Lucius Pain allowed himself to die of banana poisoning. His body was creamated, his ashes mixed with salt, and spread onto any farmland in the world owned by any Jackie Chan player who was at the 1985 barbecue. Dude did not let shit go, f'real. ''"Whatever, he wasn't very good at being a dad anyway. I would've raised me better." - ''Citizen Pain Category:Players